Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Saturday
The list was up. Saturday morning 6am and there we all were, loitering around opposite the training grounds gate awaiting the results. Cigarettes were smoked at speed, nervous fingers shaking with each draw through dry lips, shifting from foot to foot. My new mate Sean and I sharing a hangover and a bacon sarnie. A cool mist wrapped our tensions tight around us making our expectations claustrophobic. Thinking about it as I looked around at the faces I could see no one wanted to be here, they just had to. Everyone was taking turns between quietly studying the hard ground or steel sky. Everything was grey this morning, ground, sky, and everyones faces in between. A tall figure swept out of the main building and approached. As he materialised I wondered if he had picked out the grey suit to blend in with the mist. The gate opened and with dispassionate eyes he surveyed our motley group for only a few seconds before attaching a single page to the gate. As the gate closed to cover his retreat he vanished from view into the swirling grey soup. We stood a moment, looking at each other. As one the group moved towards the gate. Everyone was wide awake now. The two lists on this sheet of paper would decide our fates, and almost as importantly at that time, our mood for the weekends celebrations.
Crossing to the gate I hung back a little, watching as the first would eagerly scan for their name. A few would jump and shout. A couple of others traipsed off quietly. I squeezed in closer and scanned the lists. The first list was good; with a merit you could fly pretty much any thing for anyone. The pass grade in the second would be enough for most cargo and hauler work. Either way it was still pretty highly paid, risks were high though so many new pilots got hit by pirates these days they didn't live long after graduation. You were either good or dead. I wasn't on the first list. My heart sank, I thought I had breezed through. I scanned the second, surely I had at least made a pass. A flicker of panic caught me. I must have missed it, check again. Slowly I went down the lists from the top again. This time I even checked the fail list with increasing dread. The few that were on it had walked off dejectedly, heading back to bed I'd guess. The top two groups were bouncing down the road excitedly. I wasn't on the list. Only Sean and I were left standing. We looked at each other with the same question forming. How could we have been missed? The gate opened. Our tutor approached through the thinning mists.
"Ok you two." He sighed. "Come with me."
We exchanged a worried glance before following him up to his office. We went in and stood worried as he poured some whiskeys from a old bottle which had appeared from a small cabinet between two bookcases.
"Sit down, here, you'll be wanting these."
"We aren't on the list." I could hold it no longer.
"Yes, I know. I did tell you boys not to go trying to get a hundred percent."
"We thought you were joking."
"Wish I was, well no matter now, you've got a decision to make. You know about pod-pilots?"
We nodded agreement. Fearless pilots of undoubted skill, these pod-pilots were legendary immortals. So valuable to their corporations when things did go wrong they were cloned into new bodies to continue to fly another day. Every kid wanted to become one at some stage, no-one ever told you how though there was countless stories around in college. Our tutor poured himself a large glass and sat down slowly behind his desk before continuing. We were to have a good weekend and return on Tuesday. Then we would make a choice. We would leave to start training for pod-piloting or we would turn the offer down forever. We could also defer the choice for only one year to do anything else we wanted. We listened intently as he explained what becoming a pod-pilot would entail. We left near midday, more than a little tipsy and having heard many different stories of an endless battle through the stars. We wanted it all and we didn't feel we would need the weekend to decide, nevermind a year. Life was now and we wanted to get out there and grab nature by the balls and swing it around until it wasn't sure if it was a man or a woman. We were just 24 years old and already we felt immortal. Now we had the chance to make it happen. Sean went out partying, for once wanting the weekend to race past. I went to work in my weekend job in the kitchens of a local hotel. I was working Sunday morning too. It would be the last I seen of Sean for over a year.

Sunday
Woke up early and was feeling great. Into work for the last time. I'd get my pay through on Tuesday and I'd be off. That had been the plan anyway and now it seemed I'd be off to immortality, there was nothing to keep me here anyways. Work was quite busy but everything went real smoothly, it was like nothing could go wrong. I'd got as far as the apartment door after walking home when I decided I'd have a few quiet drinks. Only had a tenner on me until my pay came through but a quiet few and I could go to work tomorrow and then clear off the day after. I headed round to Joe's. He'd taken over the bar with another friend after we'd all been turfed out off our old watering hole one night and now it was the in place for a chilled Sunday session. I hadn't though many would be around until after 9 but coming up to 7 it was already bouncing. People kept buying me drinks all over the place and I ended up sitting at the end of the bar with more glasses than I knew what to do with. The band started up early and was really getting the place moving by 10. I was glad I'd came up now, sure beats sitting home with a book or computer game. Might as well enjoy this, I thought. I wouldn't be around here anymore after a few days, I'd made my choice and wouldn't let anyone know. Thats when she arrived. I watched her walk the length of the bar, as did almost everyone else. Right around and, fuck!
"Hi there."
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good, is there anyone sitting here?"
I almost choked.
"No, not at all, be my guest."
"Thanks."
I turned back to the bar and swallowed 3 glasses of whiskey as she glanced towards the band. I bought her a drink, I had plenty of my own sitting in front of me still anyways so I guessed i could splash out a bit. There was no-one I'd get anywhere here I though but I may as well be nice to the girl. I wondered who the guy in tow was. Maybe a husband or boyfriend. He looked a lot older though. I guessed she was a couple of years older than me at least. I soon had it figured he was just a friend. Soon she had conversations and offers from a lot of the boneheads to fend off anyways. Joe came past from the bar.
"Here, Arth, come with me I got something for you!"
I was dragged backwards off the stool, managed to keep balance and got hauled into the toilets.
"Whats up?"
A cubicle door was open and Joe hauled me in.
"SSShhh," he said loud enough to be heard by everyone in the bar I thought, "i got some coke!Get a couple of lines in ya!"
Back out we went and resumed positions on our respective sides of the bar. She was needing rescued from a group of 3 guys on the other side. Turning round as I sat down she started up a conversation with me. As it turned out no-one else would get a word in the rest of the night. At midnight the band finished and people started to leave. We sat talking until 4am. I called a mate in a favour and got us a free taxi back to hers. A bottle of wine was soon finished so we made coffee. And on we talked. At 9am we were both yawning.
"Come to bed, Arth, I need to crash. No sex."
"Absolutely not, I'm a gentleman, and besides you're far too gorgeous for me."
We stripped and rolled under the bedclothes together, soon falling asleep with shared tiredness and warmth.

Monday
10am. I'd slept half an hour. Obviously there was still some chemical excitement running around my veins. Fuck work. I said I'd hold her and I would. I watched her sleep. Watched the slow rythmic breathing, the gentle flutter of her eyelids every now and then. A little smile and small movements to put her arm accross or snuggle up closer. By the time she woke at 2pm I knew every feature on her face. I also knew I was hopelessly in love. We shared a quick kiss on the corner by the bus stop and then she was gone. I had the bus driver drop me by the bar, it wasn't far from his route anyways. Joe was working this afternoon and he'd be needing a drink to cure last night as much as I needed one to cure this morning. By closing time I'd have decided that maybe a year wasn't such a very long time to think about something; but soon there would be time to kill.